Guild:The Whizzo Chocolate Company
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This page is about a particular player guild. The contents of this page are player-managed and do not represent official Guild Wars lore. Any roleplaying, fictional, speculative, or opinionated claims on this page apply solely to the players in the guild, not to the Guild Wars canon. Guild pages must comply with the guild pages policy. |
The Whizzo Chocolate Company [Frog]
| The Whizzo Chocolate Company [Frog] | |
|---|---|
| |
| Territory | International |
| Language | English |
| Leader | Slayzie Tanner/Rocky Stahl |
| Faction | Kurzick |
| Type | PvX |
| No. of members | 4 |
| Guild Hall | Isle of Solitude |
| VoIP | N/A |
| IRC channel | N/A |
| Forums | N/A |
| Time zone | GMT +10 |
For far too long, the citizens of Tyria have been denied the privileges of quality chocolate.
For far too long, they have been forced to satisfy their ‘Sweet Tooth’ with such atrocities as… rock candy.
But fear not, brave souls of Tyria, for the Whizzo Chocolate Company is coming soon [1] to an outpost near you!
With our signature product, the Whizzo Quality Assortment, we hope to take the Tyrian sweet market by storm.
The Whizzo Quality Assortment contains such delicacies as ‘Cherry Fondue’, ‘Crunchy Frog’, ‘Cockroach Cluster’, and our speciality…
‘Spring Surprise’ ~ when you pop it into your mouth, steel bolts spring out and plunge straight through both cheeks.
Look for the Whizzo Quality Assortment at your local sweet merchant ~ the box bearing a large red label: “Warning: Lark’s Vomit”
Recruitment
And now, for a limited time only [2] you too can be part of the Tyrian sweet revolution! Join our Tyrian Marketing Division and you will:
- Receive access to the Whizzo Chocolate Company’s Tyrian headquarters, replete with every modern convenience [3] and off limits to the general public.
- Receive a snazzy Whizzo Chocolate Company Cloak, decorated in deep hues of pink and black and bearing a silver frog symbol in homage to our famous ‘Crunchy Frog’ product.
- Receive the ability to support the Whizzo Chocolate Company in the exotic land of Cantha by performing heroic acts in our name for the Kurzick faction.
- Receive the ability to participate in epic battles against rival associations [4].
- Receive the ability to rise through the ranks of the Whizzo Chocolate Company to become an Officer, commanding the respect and obedience of many [5].
So what are you waiting for? Simply speak to an Authorised Whizzo Representative and ask to join up with the Whizzo Chocolate Company, and all this will be yours!
You can easily identify an Authorised Whizzo Representative by the [Frog] label at the end of their name.
If you are unable to find an Authorised Whizzo Representative, we suggest you try sending a private message to Slayzie Tanner.
As the managing director of our Tyrian Marketing Division, he should be able to assist you.
The Fine Print
- ^ 'Soon' is to be considered an entirely relative term. The likelihood of the Whizzo Quality Assortment experiencing a widespread Tyrian release in your lifetime is roughly equivalent to that of a male antelope giving birth to triplets.
- ^ 'A Limited Time Only' refers to the period of time between the formation of our Tyrian Marketing Division and the eventual widespread Tyrian release of the Whizzo Quality Assortment. See 'soon'.
- ^ Speculatively speaking. As of the time of writing, the Whizzo Chocolate Company’s Tyrian Headquarters does not actually have much in the way of conveniences at all. We have every intention of adding such features at a later date.
- ^ Assuming the Whizzo Chocolate Company Corporate Warfare Division can get off of their lazy posteriors long enough to arrange this.
- ^ Respect and Obedience is intended merely as a possible indicator of your treatment as an Officer. It is far more likely that you will be referred to as the empty-headed-animal-food-trough-wiper you are.
The Whizzo Chocolate Company title, concept, and all associated names and quotations were created by the Monty Python cast; true comedy gods of our time who are more humourous and intelligent than we could ever hope to be. We politely request that the Monty Python cast do not sue us for the usage of the aforementioned items, as such usage is intended purely as a tribute to them, and such action is likely to upset us.
