User:Lacky/Troll

LolTroll Picture of the Now

Click here for previous LolTrolls of the Now

A troll, most commonly encountered on the internet, is any person who purposely causes controversy in a web community and disrupts things for his or her own amusement. Trolls have been referred to in the web community as, trollers, jerks, and scum of the earth idiots. The term probably derives from "trolling" or "trawling", a style of fishing which involves trailing bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. Troll is fine as a verb since trawling/trolling for comments and flames is innate troll behaviour. Trolling is not to be confused with the slang verb "to troll".

What is "Trolling"?

Trolling is a kind of prank and a lost art form, full of failed attempts and people who don't even know what trolling is.

Most ignorant people think that trolling is merely someone getting in an argument, or a fight, or attacking others. However, people do this all the time on the internet when they're not trolling. Trolling that does this is obvious and usually fails. People who think everyone who disagrees with them is a troll are so easily trolled that they'll fall for anything. A skilled troll can just appear to cause no conflict and agree with people and do it in such a way to provoke everyone else into a flame storm.

The internet is full of people that think just being internet trash makes them a real troll. Acting racist for lulz is trolling but simply being a racist is not. Acting as stupid as *-chan because you really are that stupid makes you a lulzcow and not a troll. If someone goes and slips razor blades inside the hamburgers of little kids and goes "haha you have been trolled nublol", despite being hilarious, that's not trolling, it's being a psychopath and a poser. Common sense would say that no one could seriously be like that, that all people like that are trolls, but then again, common sense is often very, very wrong.

Even when someone knows how to troll, they usually fail to be funny and then experience troll's remorse A.K.A being an empathetic, idiot. Such feelings tend to pass once they realise that people who take the internets seriously enough to get upset by trolling really ought to kill themselves. Once they reach this point, they are said to suffer from Internet Troll Personality Disorder, or ITPD for short. After long enough, they may even develop Chronic Troll Syndrome (CTS).

The most important thing that any troll should remember is not to believe in what you are saying, and be comfortable with telling made up lies whilst avoiding the truth or any factual details about your own life because not only are these boring, they could be used to identify you (unless, of course, you also lie about the details of your life). To avoid the onset of troll's remorse, follow this technique and just lead them further down the avenue of trolling, swallowing your bait hook, line and sinker.

Only when one is a skilled troll can they pull off trolling IRL, such as Harry Potter spoilers, etc.

Trolling Rules

Made by an experienced and successful troll

• 1- You must always do it for the lulz.
• 2- You're a troll, nothing and no person can hurt you, except overfeeding.
• 3- Attack in packs, the B& hammer can take down lone wolves like Americans to a MG42.
• 4- Keep all inter-site raids silent. The target may learn and prepare.
• 5- EXPLOIT EVERYTHING.
• 6- The craftier the target, the moar research you must do.
• 7- LURK MOAR.
• 8- We are not your personal army.
• 9- The 1337 are not to be targeted, they won't feed you if so.
• 10- Research: Your new best friend.
• 11- White Knights = Internet Tough Guys = Scaredy Cats/Chickens
• 12- In true raids, close the pool first.
• 13- Never use the homosexual insult. It makes you look like an idiot.
• 14- Post cats on Caturday.
• 15- One must have a /b/ file.
• 16- One must have a fap file.
• 17- Proxies keep you from getting b&.
• 18- The Copy Link option can save your from your own keyloggers.
• 19- /b/ is home and home tends to fall sometimes.
• 20- You must ALWAYS do it for the lulz.

WITH THESE POWERS, I BECOME..... CAAAAAAAPTAIN PLAAAAANET!

History

Trolling was invented by Socrates and called Socratic Irony. It was performed IRL. Unfortunately, primitive people found irony confusing and scary, so they forced him to drink hemlock and die.

The Bible writers were the OTs (original trollers). They were so good, people are still RRRAAAGGGGing over it today.

Quite possibly one of the lulziest cases of historical trolling occurred in 1857 in the British colony of India. The British included native-born soldiers, both Muslim and Hindu, into their army, and then royally pwned their butts by putting pig grease on the bullet cartridges for the Muslim soldiers, and cow grease on the bullet cartridges for the Hindu soldiers. These are paper cartridges, mind you, and every soldier was trained to bite open the wrapping in order to pour the gunpowder down the barrel. It was later recorded in the respective holy books of the two religions that every one of these soldiers burned for eternity in hell.

Much lulz ensued until the Hindus and the Muslims found out and staged a revolt. Then the British killed them all, and even more lulz were had by all.

In the early 1700s two English writers, Trenchard and Gordon, trolled the English government with their Letters to the Editor, that were collected and published as Cato's Letters. These were extremely popular in the colonies and provided some of the arguments for American independence. Without trolling, America would not exist.

Trolling was later taught as a college-level course by Professor Tim Pierce, resulting in Wikicide.

U.S. courts have found that trolling is a Constitutionally-protected right

How to tell a troll

Most trolls believe that they are, in fact, funny. Anyone who does not agree with them is obviously either: overly sensitive, has no life, no sense of humor, or is a combination of two or all of these. In many instances, one can see where a troll has in fact messed up but is too wrapped in his own little laugh to notice how much of an idiot they have really been. These trolls are the easiest to identify, as they often stop leaving comments when it is obvious even to a monkey with a brain tumour that they have screwed it up, or when you see a comment that begins with telling the owner of the site/picture/story/etc that they suck for no good reason. To be absolutely sure, look for the word "lulz" anywhere in their comments, or YHBT at the end of the comments.

Additionally, attention seekers are not trolls, just irl bimbos.

Groups

A person affiliated with Bantown, the GNAA, /i/, TA, PN, the Marcab Confederacy, or any other trolling organisation.

Hater

Hater is YouTube for troll. Being a bunch of illiterate trailer trash, your average YouTube blogger is unaware that internets exist outside of YouTube. Quite possibly because most of those internets require better than a third grade reading level to successfully navigate.

Trolling YouTube is deceptively simple. Just wait for some schmuck to post a video whining and crying over something nobody cares about (9/11) and post a response video calling them a drama llama. YouTubers are still naively sheltered from the realities of the internet, making their reactions even more lulzy. It's kind of cute.

Examples

• Joshu2uber
• Angry Homo Kid

Griefer

A video game species of troll. Griefers are unable to resort to the time-honoured techniques of text-driven drama and, as such, have concentrated on ruining the game experience for others. This takes many forms, from breaching the fourth wall on roleplaying servers, to filling in-game chat windows with commentary about monkeys.

Then, of course, are the spawn campers, the laggets, and lets not forget the cheaters and the glitchers.

Griefers can often be ingenious in finding ways to annoy people, but more often than not they're just stupid idiots.

myg0t is one of the most successful and well-respected raging (griefing) organisations.

Trolls in RPGs

In Dungeons & Dragons, trolls take full damage from acid and fire. Because trolls have green rubbery flesh and naturally enhanced regeneration, damage caused by slashing, piercing or bludgeoning is halved.

In World of Warcraft, Trolls are a powerful race of giant green bean people that live in towering can cities. They worship the almighty Jolly Green Giant.

All this RPG troll stuff came from trolls in Norse mythology. Lolki, god of mischief (among other things), invented trolling and bad tribal art tattoos.

However, none of this is important, because everyone knows D&D and WoW are for losers.

The Successful Troll

Any troll that has been able to bring the lulz by causing the opposition to either rage or seek an easy way out.

Troll for a Day (TFAD)

Found on those rare well-heeled (adults with no lives) boards such as Yahoo's SCO board. A board may suffer from group think and stagnate. One poster will create a new pseudonym and log in to tweak the other posters into a flame war. The Troll for a Day will announce they are a TFAD (TFADing) and everyone will congratulate the regular after getting over their murderous impulses. Posters on message boards who have experienced this behaviour will immediately try to label all newbies as "TFADs". These trolls are often scaredy cats.

Techniques

Some techniques:

• Always use proper grammar and spelling. Failure to do so will result in the obvious retort.
• Choose an insane idea and STICK WITH IT. Ignore all other arguments and any other form of logic or common sense.
• Kidnapping Jew soldiers. Classic Hezbollah troll for inciting Holy War and for Ninja Evangelist Christians trying to jump-start The Rapture.[1]
• Use many sock puppets to try to convince everyone that someone at random is a troll.
• Use people's ignorance about IP addresses to your advantage.
• Fake journals
• Crapflooding
• Posting offensive links or images and claiming they are work safe.
• Using the word abortion in a sentence.
• Making a conservatism post in liberal comm or vice versa.
• Suing someone in Internet court.
• Hacker
• Inane flame
• Ministry of truth
• Mail lists
• Be a famous black rapper at the MTV Video Music Awards, wait for some random white girl singer to win an award and then say, "(White Girl's Name), I'm really happy for you, Imma Let You Finish but (Random Black singer nominated) had the best video of all time."
• Sprinkle "citation needed" tags into user comments on Wikipedia talk pages.
• Google Drop their name all over the Internets.
• Posting an offensive image as the userpage for a new user via administrative means on AE and then locking the page so it cannot be edited.
• Even making the suggestion that racist stereotypes are, in fact, with merit.
• Guides on trolling is also another good way to troll.
• Make an introductory post on a forum that starts out "Hi my name is _____ and im a scientologist from..." just sit back and watch the moral idiots educate you and everyone else about Scientology while others try to stick up for you.
• It is possible for one to troll by pretending to get trolled. Furthermore, it is possible for another to troll by pretending to be trolled by the one pretending to be trolled. The vicious chain continues on to the point where all are trolled simply by trying to follow and understand it.

The Troll's Prayer

A prayer for trolls made for the lulz.

Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray thee not my trollz to take.
And if I die before I wake
I pray thee lord those Jews to bake.

It's burning, it's roaring;
The Jews are all mourning.
I stuck one on a pyre
And set him on fire
Lived he not to see the next morning.


One, two, gas a Jew
Three, four, gas them more
Five, six, get them fixed
Seven, eight, lay the bait
Nine, ten, gas them again!

Mister Jewish Lilo
Biked down the asphalt road
Up came a car and knocked poor lilo out
Out came the sun and dried up all the blood
And now Mister Jewish Lilo
Is no longer about.

Lilo was a little Jew
little Jew
little Jew
Lilo was a little Jew
His dong was short you know

Everywhere that lilo went
lilo went
lilo went
Everywhere that lilo went
that Jew would sleep with hoes

Next he took the greedy way
greedy way
greedy way
Next he took the greedy way
And launched campaign spinhome

Laughing, he went bike riding
bike riding
bike riding
Laughing, he went bike riding
The rest we're glad to know.

One little, two little, three little furries
Four little, five little, six little furries
Seven little, eight little, nine little furries
Ten little furries.
KILL EM!
Ten little, nine little, eight little furries
Seven little, six little, five little furries
Four little, three little, two little furries
One little furry.
ANYONE WANT TO DO THE HONOURS?

Famous Trolls (Internet Related)

Here are a few examples of famous internet trolls. For a more complete list of trolls, see Trolling IRL.

• Ashi moto
• Blu Aardvark
• Chadwardenn
• Dad's dog's leg
• Grawp
• Hagger
• Lori Drew
• Msscribe
• Rfjason
• Stephen Colbert
• Weev
• Rob Cypher
• Joshu2uber
• Imma Let You Finish

America trolls the trolls

A female Hispanic democrat recently presented a reasonable bill to congress because the pigs are probably sick of scraping dead emo forum posters off of the sidewalk in front of their dumpy apartments. Now, you can get slapped with a felony and two years of jailtime for making 'normal forum users' cry online. Don't worry though, it will only apply to serious offenders! [2]

See Also

• IRL Trolling
• lolitrolu
• Anti-troll
• Don't feed the trolls
• Legendary ruin status
• Self-troll
• Dangerous Kitten
• ZOG - An ancient race of IRL trolls.
• Trollface
• Yahoo! Answers

External links

• A serious discussion on the history of trolls.
• Preventative measures against trolls.
• LOL WUT
• PRACTICE TROLL SKILLZ HERE
• The most epic of French Trolls

Previous LolTrolls of the Now

• Free Guild War is free, best and super fun!
  
• Ban me pl0x
  
• Legendary Guardian
  
• I'm a Black Mexican
  
• It's just me, my axe and a bunch of dead monsters...
  
• I'm a little vandal, short and stout...