User:Shard/Humor/Lingo

WARNING: The material on this page is for entertainment purposes. It is intended to be satirical, and though it may be based on actual things or events, should not be taken completely seriously.

The following is a list of words or phrases commonly used on wiki.

Terms

Anon - an unregistered user using their IP as their username.

ArenaNet - The company that maintains Guild Wars. They did not create it. Guild Wars created itself. See also GW:SET.

Assassin - The Knockdown Class. Assassins usually use two or three skills with low recharges which cause knockdowns, followed by a prerequisite with low recharge (see Palm Strike and Dancing Daggers). The main point of an assassin is to remove an enemy monk from the game for 8 seconds while killing him.

AFK - watching porn

BRB - I'm going to afk for a little while

Bad - The opposite of Good. See also rawr.

Buff - To make something in the game more powerful or more accessible. Usually, ArenaNet does this to skills which are already balanced in order to make the game more broken. See also Game Balance, Nerf.

Bureaucrat - Sysops with a different name.

B& - Shorthand for "Banned."

Dancing Daggers - A skill in Guild Wars which allows no-recharge knockdown chains. This skill contained a bug that arenanet knew about for one year before it was fixed. It's still bugged in another way.

Developer Update - A half-assed explanation excuse as to why the last game update was made. Typically, these are fun to read because nobody at arenanet actually knows how to do a game update. They are usually filled with lies and/or ignorance.

Election - The process in which pve noobs with 100 or more mainspace edits vote for other pve noobs to be a Bureaucrat.

Fail - A term to refer to anything that is the opposite of win. See also Arenanet, Sysop, Developer Update, or pretty much anything else that exists on the wiki.

Fire Magic - A series of skills for Elementalists that permit them to do more damage than warriors, especially to balled up enemies (and to anyone in Heroes' Ascent). Fire Magic has received significant buffs in every skill balance update ever performed.

Gaile - The previous community representative for ArenaNet. She always talked to the players and took all their ideas and questions seriously.

Grind - The act of doing the same thing repeatedly in order to achieve a certain goal. Everything in Guild Wars is based on grind. See also Grind of the North.

Grind of the North - The fourth chapter (though not standalone) of Guild Wars. Instead of having a decent story, this chapter makes you run around and grind everything from quests, dungeons, boring solo missions, and stupid point thingies.

Guild Battle / GvG - A form of pve which pits four humans and four bots against another identical team, usually with identical builds. If your guild is Rebel Rising, you can ignore any rules that pertain to gvg.

GW:SET (Guild Wars Self Emergence Theory) - The theory that Guild Wars is a program which wrote itself. Because nobody at arenanet has a clue as to how anything in the game works or how flexible it is, this theory seems the most plausible explanation for Guild Wars existing.

Head vs Wall - Refers to the activity of bashing one's head against a wall. Ideally, you would use this term to juxtapose the enjoyment of injuring one's self with playing a fun game. Alternately, you could compare this with Guild Wars.

Hero (Henchman) - Legal Botting. ArenaNet has banned people in the past for using heroes, so use them at your own risk. These are also popular in PvP because their AI makes them far better than any human being could ever be.

Heroes' Ascent / HA / Tombs - A form of pve that pits six humans and two mesmer heroes against another identical team. The main point of HA is to frustrate everyone that plays it, as almost none of the existing maps are balanced or fun, and many of them contain a 16v8 setup.

Ion Cannon - A monk Smiting Prayers skill that singlehandedly causes victory in Alliance Battles, Jade Quarry, and Fort Aspenwood.

Izzy (Isaiah Cartwright) - Previously the skill balancer for Guild Wars, he is now busy making sure GW2 is as unplayable as possible. The only thing funny he ever did was curse the F word at customers in vent.

Jesus Beam / Jesus Ray / Ray of Jesus - see Ion Cannon.

Kim Chase - An employee at ArenaNet who gets paid to not play Guild Wars. See also Izzy.

Megatroll - A person who is a moron, bad at the game, and has not reached puberty yet. All megatrolls are male, because females just aren't that stupid. Common traits of megatrolls are:

• Their user space has a picture of an assassin with ugly armor, or their main character is an assassin.
• They haven't figured out how to disable caps-lock.
• Their page is filled with pve accomplishments, and possibly also a bambi emote.
• They try to write articles about shit they know nothing about.

Nerf - To weaken a component of the game, usually a skill. ArenaNet only does this to skills which are already weak. See also Skill Balance Update and Buff.

NPA - You used a negative word and someone's name in the same sentence. You will be banned regardless of the context and regardless of whether or not you broke any rules.

NPA (second meaning) - No Pbadwords Allowed (you may also get blocked for violating this rule)

Nub - An insult which unranked RA trash call people who are better than themselves. They always have less fame or champ points than you.

Palm Strike - An assassin skill in Guild Wars which replaces all instances of "Must follow an off hand attack" with "NULL" on all of your skills. It also does big unblockable damage and causes permanent cripple.

Pew Pew Ranger - The interrupt class in Guild Wars. A pew pew ranger's bar consists of fast activation, low recharge skills, interrupts, and more interrupts. The point of the bar is to mindlessly spam all your skills on recharge, doing big ranged damage and sometimes interrupting your target.

Ranger - The melee class in Guild Wars, despite their name. Rangers only use hammers and scythes.

rawr (Rules Anet Wishes were Real) - term used to describe a situation when rules are ignored because anet doesn't know they exist.

Shadow Form - The act of being permanently invincible. Usually, this gameplay technique is used to <insert pve goal here>.

Skill - An object in Guild Wars making up the base of combat gameplay mechanics. Contrary to popular belief, anything you can put on your skill bar is a skill. See also Skill (Player).

Skill (Player) - The skill level a player has in Guild Wars. Back when Anet cared about Guild Wars, this mattered. Now it does not.

Smiter's Boon (or Boon'd or Booned) - Refers to the action of making a skill so horrendously bad that it cannot be used anywhere in the game for any reason. This is the alternative to doing the smart and logical thing - actually balancing it.

Sockpuppet - Extra accounts used to edit wiki while a person's main account is banned.

Tetris - A game which requires more skill to be successful at than Guild Wars. See also Head vs Wall.

TL;DR - Someone wrote a lot of garbage that didn't make sense on the assumption that people would care about their opinions. Example: this page.

Regina - Replaced Gaile, but never talks to anyone.

Skill Balance - An imaginary concept that every skill in the game is of near equal power.

Skill Balance Update - A game update which attempts to remove skills from the game, then by making one or two flawed skills more powerful than anything else in the game. See also Fire Magic.

Sysop - A member of the wiki who can ban you if they don't like you. See also Fail.

Troll - A person who purposefully posts a controversial idea in hopes that it will start a flame war. This is not the same as posting a controversial topic to bring it into public awareness. See also Megatroll.

Ward Against Harm - An elementalist elite that converts fire damage to balanced damage.