User:Jagtiger/IRLGW

Inspired by First April's Joke and topic from GWG (alas can't remember link), I have decided to make my own list of items if they have been accepted literally, judging by names of skills, icons and descriptions, as they seem to me in common sense. Everything below must be accepted as a joke.

Comments can be left on this page's talk.

Skills

Assassin

• Assassin's Remedy: You kill other target ally. This ally losses all conditions, hexes and other effects.
• Beguiling Haze: For 15...51...60 seconds all creatures in target area become foes for all creatures.
• Blades of Steel: Next 2 attacks deal more damage than iron, bronze, lead or any other softer metal than steel. Has no effect on titanium or any harder metal than steel.
• Caltrops: If foe was Blinded, foe takes 5...21...25 damage for each second in movement in target area, otherwise foe moves 25% slower. Finishes after 1...8...10 seconds of enemy's movement in that area.
• Death Blossom: You give target foe a bunch of 1...10...12 flowers. Touched foe dies and and for each flower in bunch, adjacent foe dies. Has no effect on undead or elementals.
• Hidden Caltrops: At target area, enemy receive 5...21...25 damage for each second in movement in that area. Finishes after 10...26...30 seconds of enemy's movement.
• Mark of Insecurity: Target foe no longer feels secure and runs into panic, when receives damage or enemy skill.
• Palm Strike: Target foe is knocked down (100% chance of failure if foe's strength is 9...12...13 or more) and become cheesed off.
• Recall:For 5...2...1 seconds you try to recall, who you are and what's happened yesterday. If you were intoxicated, duration is quadrupled.
• Shadow Form: Form. You become a shadow for 5...18...21 seconds. All attacks miss and, all spells fails (even allied)and damage is ignored, except for attacks and spells that deal fire and light and you receive double damage from those types of damage, dark damage attacks and spells heal you instead of damaging.
• Unseen Fury: You are cheesed off as you never been before! You attack 50% faster, move 50% faster, incoming damage ignores your armour level, you lose control over yourself for 8...27...32 seconds and then die shortly after while. Has no effect if there no reasons.
• Way of the Assassin: You level up to 20th level and learn Shadow Form (and respective skills), you have free entrances to Underworld and improved ecto drops. Fails if you are not a primary assassin.

General Notes

• Lotus/Blossom skills need flower to be equipped to use.
• Fox skills not working unless you are fox.
• Locust/Mantis skills not working unless you are mantis or locust.
• Ox skills not working unless you are a bull.
• Phoenix skills not working unless you are phoenix.
• Spider skills not working unless you are spider.
• Golden skills need gold weapons to work.
• Temple skills work only in a temple.

Dervish

• Aura Slicer: Strip any skill with word "Aura".
• Chilling Victory: Additionally, slows down target foe and adjacent enemies by 66% for 5...9...10 seconds.
• Farmer's Scythe:For 1...19...24 hours you get a scythe with 20% longer lasting enchantments and zealous mods.

General Notes

• All Balthazar, Dwayna, Malandru, Grenth and Lyssa skills need respective forms to work.
• Harrier's skills only work in a Raven Form
• Mystic skills are automatically linked to mysticism attribute.

Elementalist

• Aftershock: Works only after skills with word "shock".
• Air Attunement: You are attuned to air. All air skills and damage deal 10...42...50% more damage and cannot be blocked or avoided. Ends if you use other non-air skill or damage.
• Armor of Earth: ...also you have immunity to radiation. Increases incoming water and air damage.
• Armor of Frost: You have reduced incoming fire damage.
• Armor of Mist: Enemy attacks have 15...29...33% chance to miss with attacks.
• Bed of Coals: ...also cripples enemy for 2...8...10 seconds.
• Blinding Flash: ...also you take a screenshot.
• Breath of Fire: You are breathing jet of flame from your mouth and do fire damage to enemies in the line of fire. Jet is within Adjacent...Nearby...In Area reach from your location.
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Ranger

• Arcing Shot: ...also fires in high arc.
• Called Shot: ...also requires target to be called by team member to work.
• Choking Gas: ...also inflicts blindness for 1...3...3 seconds.
• Concussion Shot: ...also hitting head causes daze without interrupting.
• Escape: ...also, you cannot run in direction of enemy.
• Seeking Arrows: ...also you cannot miss with arrows.
• Winter: Works only during winter (from 1st December to 28/29th February), ritual lasts 1 second per each day remaining until 28/29th February. During any other time, have to wait 1 second for each week remaining until first day of December.

General Notes

• Melandru's skills now requires Avatar of Melandru or Ranger of Melandru blessing.
• Zojun's skills can be only acquired by signet of capture from Bound Zojun.